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Most of us find criticism hard to take. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.
If we learn how to accept criticism we can grow from it. Hendrie Weisinger, Ph.D., author
of The Critical Edge: How to Criticize Up and Down Your Organization—And Make it
Payoff says, "for some, the wound inflicted by a negative observation is so
painful that they block out all such comments. Unfortunately, their efforts to protect
their self-esteem also keep them from growing. To be able to benefit from criticism, you
must be willing to make yourself vulnerable." You can use criticism to your
advantage, both professionally and personally. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind
the next time you are criticized:
Consider the Source. The first step to handling criticism is
learning to consider the source. In order to judge the validity of a negative comment made
to you, consider the character of the person who made the critical remark and the
circumstances under which the comment was made. Was the person qualified to judge your
performance? Were there any underlying biases, factors and motivations that could have
inspired the comment? Always remain mindful of the atmosphere that precedes criticism.
Don’t Take an Attitude. When you are criticized, make a
conscious effort to not become defensive or lash-out at the other person. Consider how the
criticism could improve your performance and help you move onward and upward. When you are
on the receiving end of constructive feedback, it is important to focus on the intent and
the content of what is being said. Listen calmly and resist the urge to point out the
other person's shortcomings. Go one step further by not making excuses, pouting, or
retreating to silence.
Ask for Specifics. Ask for more information if you’re not
sure about what is expected of you. Ask your critic to specify what you did (or failed
to do) and what can you do to improve your performance. On the other hand, if you
honestly disagree with your critic’s observations, do not pretend to agree with his
or her suggestions. This will only lead to more criticism when your critic sees that your
performance hasn’t changed. Instead, be both tactful and straightforward in pointing
out each area of disagreement.
Thank Those Providing Feedback. This shows maturity on your
part, whether or not your critic has your best interest in mind. Remember: The truth is
the truth no matter what the source. Thanking your critic often promotes a pattern of
productive communication, where both of you create a healthy environment to learn and
grow.
Take Action. Growth requires change. Once you’ve listened
to your critic, you still have the choice of accepting or rejecting the criticism. If you
believe the feedback you received from your critic is constructive, helpful, and valid
then you owe it to yourself to incorporate the suggestions into your behavior.
Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking said,
"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved
by criticism." There is no question that learning to take criticism well is one of
the most difficult things to do. If you remember to keep an open mind and not interpret
each criticism as a personal attack, you will be able to determine for yourself if the
remark is justified. Once you have learned to deal with criticism well, you will find that
you have created an opportunity to grow.
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Cincinnati, OH 45253 USA |
(513) 600-5691 (Phone)
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